As a shy, socially awkward introvert, I’m not in the habit of wandering convention halls and standing in extended lines to meet and greet those I admire. In spite of this, I’ve managed to collect a few things here and there. So, scroll down to check out some of the treasures this fanboy has accumulated over the years.

Original Concorde edition DVD sleeve for The Slumber Party Massacre signed by: Debra DeLiso (“Kim”), Brinke Stevens (“Linda”), Michael Villella (“Russ Thorn” a.k.a. “The Driller Killer”), and Amy Holden Jones (director). 

Original Concorde edition DVD sleeve for Slumber Party Massacre II signed by: Kristi Callan (Wednesday Week), Don Daniel (“Mr. Damnkids,” unit production manager, first assistant director), Juliette Cummins (“Sheila”), Deborah Brock (writer, producer, director), Beverly Gray (script supervisor).

Original Concorde edition DVD sleeve for Slumber Party Massacre III signed by: Sally Mattison (director), Brandi Burkett (“Diane”), Garon Grigsby (“Michael”), Hope Marie Carlton (“Janine”), Yan Birch (“Weirdo”), Beverly Gray (script supervisor). 

Rare DVD release for the 1990 made-for-TV movie Nightmare, signed by star Danielle Harris (who, apparently, had no idea this release even existed).

Poster for Never Sleep Again, the comprehensive documentary about the Elm Street franchise, signed by “Nancy Thompson” herself, Heather Langenkamp.

Autographed photo of my favorite Scream Queen and B-movie star Maria Ford, famous for such classics as Slumber Party Massacre III, Stripteaser, Showgirl Murders, and Perfect Fit. I happened upon her fan mail address back in 2000 and wrote to her. To my surprise and sheer delight, she responded with these lovely signed photographs.

Signed photo of Debbie Dutch a.k.a. Debra Dare, known for the cult classic Hard to Die, as well as a slew of other Jim Wynorski flicks. Not exactly sure why she signed the back of the picture. Nevertheless, happy to have it.

John Waters has been one of my trash idols since I saw Serial Mom for the first time way back in the early ‘90s. Got to meet him here in Philadelphia in ’05 when he did a book signing to promote a collection of screenplays. He was kind enough to sign my copy, as well as this Hairspray DVD sleeve. Yes, I’m ashamed to admit I fawned all over him. But hey, it’s John fucking Waters.

Janeane Garofalo has been one of my favorite actresses and stand-up comics for close to 20 years. Unfortunately, I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting her in the flesh. I believe I obtained this autographed photo after I sent in a fan letter some time in the late ‘90s.

Nabbed this awesome autographed photo of Sarah Michelle Gellar during the early days of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Was a huge fan of the short-lived CBS comedy Cybill back in the mid-to-late ‘90s. Pretty sure I landed this signed photo of Cybill Shepherd after writing her a fan letter while it was still on the air.

Last, but certainly not least: she’s the most successful female solo artist of all time, an actress, an author, a model, and my very first celebrity obsession. Been a Madonna fanatic since kindergarten and from that point on, I’ve continued to follow her career closely. Managed to get a hold of this autographed photo when I joined her official fan club in the late ‘90s.

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