Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Episode 37: Cabin Fever (2002)


Since Eli Roth has spent the past fifteen years spewing the most purile, amateurishly cringe-worthy dialogue set to screen, choosing a headlining quote for this episode was no easy feat. Also, the preceding statement is a prime example of the direction B-Movie Bonanza has taken over the the past few years. When I started the blog back in 2014, I swore I wouldn’t make a mockery of the films I commentate. I repeatedly promised that this wasn’t meant to be another RiffTrax, but my way of spreading the love for these, my favorite celluloid gems. I promised I wouldn’t nitpick or obnoxiously make mention of plotholes. That I would only share stories of how the movies enriched my life and made those teenage years locked in my bedroom a little more tolerable. Somehow, things veered slightly off-course.

While I wouldn’t say I’ve been ripping the movies to shreds, I have been having a little more fun with them than I’d originally intended. I’ve addressed senseless subplots, poor acting, redundant storylines, and certain companies who’ve spent years slapping together movies comprised primarily of stock footage, not to mention laughing my ass off at my own less-than-clever quips.

With Cabin Fever, I couldn’t resist poking fun at the unseasoned writing style of Mr. Eli Roth. But come on. When you consistently pen characters who walk around rolling their eyes and remarking on how “gay” everything is, you’re making yourself a prime target for negative criticism and ridicule. I also do a fair amount of analyzing (sometimes over-analyzing) elements of the highly debatable plot. Doing these little commentaries has truly made me look at the films in an entirely different way and I often find myself peeling back layer after layer, thinking aloud as I try to discern the characters’ motivations, a truly pointless endeavor when it comes to movies like Cabin Fever. That said, I hope you have as much fun listening to me dissect one of the best so-ridiculously-bad-it’s-good movies of the early ‘00s as I did recording this episode.

Please note: it’s imperative that you use the director’s cut Blu ray edition if you’d like to watch along. The original DVD released by Lions Gate will ruin the experience, and what an experience it is listening to me ramble on for 1:37:47 about these cookie-cutter characters and the giant brick of Swiss cheese Roth calls a plot.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Spotlight: Cutting Class (1989)

Yet another film no one seems to like except me.

I was quite young when I saw Cutting Class for the first time. Got it as a previously viewed VHS from Blockbuster and became and immediate fan, namely due to Jill Schoelen’s performance (I still say she should’ve been a much bigger name in the horror genre than she turned out to be). Believe it or not, I saw the movie a few years before Brad Pitt became an international object of lust. To me, he was just the guy from Thelma & Louise. I had no idea he’d go on to achieve such stratospheric stardom and success.

Below you’ll find 760 high-quality screencaps taken from an HD source. Since there are so many cuts and quite a bit of choreographed violence, I got more than a little snap-happy in my quest to capture each frame. True, there are also lots of close-ups, but Jill’s beautiful face was and is one to be closely admired. Enjoy.